Lord, I pray that you will make me an instrument of your peace
even though Jesus said sometimes there would not be peace, but a sword.
I’d like to sow love
but my fear drives me to defend against what you hate.
If I could pardon, I would, and be pardoned;
But after I died, I might not still know
how to get along with others.
I’d love for you to give me faith in place of doubt,
as doubt has been the mechanism of fear
which has been the driving force for me to try to be good
so that I won’t be consigned to eternal torture.
If you could replace my despair with hope,
I would still know that
life is being prophetically preached as getting much worse
in a literal way
before it gets better.
If your light could be shined into the darkness,
there is not a better time than the always now.
And I feel I cannot change
a part of my being that you put into place
which is so much a part of your empathy for those who are not special;
You’ve given me the Spirit of Sadness that supersedes the joy in the feeling
of getting mine.
For I do not want to be consoled out of caring for the unimportant,
the ones who can’t call themselves a man-made label,
but who possibly know your Spirit anyway.
For there is no ego in Christ,
and His generosity of heart does not require puffing up,
I will not be understood. I mirror you in that.
I will not say flowery words that preach to the choir
to receive the seal of approval from the many.
I will give to whom I give, without speaking of it.
I will ask you to pardon me when I complain because dying hurts,
or I can’t understand others.
Help me to make you happy and to bring joy
in the uniquely peculiar way you have bestowed on me;
I ask you to help me forgive myself and others
when we enjoy our false feelings of competition
as if in some race to be the best over being loving.
If I have trouble loving rightly,
help me to see what love there is in me and you together.
If each person knew the joy of existing in love
they would never leave it.
Therefore, since the potential and seed-planted desire of all your creation
is to intrinsically experience the high of love,
help me to see all my brothers and sisters
as operating in only the highest degree of love
that they can in this moment
even if it is mainly out of self-preservation.
From this perspective, most are operating
from the highest level capable
in the cumulative consciousness.
Help me to be part of a shift that helps the collective move forward.
Help me to have empathy for those
who are seemingly tethered to the generalized quality of this mirage,
and for the areas of my life
where I am blind to it myself.
Help me to care for the collective wholeness, even as I know
I have to account for my individual self.
Correcting in self
Loving toward others
May it be so.