I had a dream. In this dream, I was four months pregnant at 47 years old. It was a difficult thing to accept.
How would I teach? What about how my life has opened up? What about finances; what about my age?
I was telling everyone about it.
I was looking at the years ahead of starting over again, the stress on my husband, the things in my life I would lose that I had just found, the total overwhelm.
And then I woke up.
I lay dormant for a moment, not remembering; and then it came to me suddenly – I’m not pregnant! I began to laugh with giddiness. Worries I had been having about the future before suddenly seemed to be nothing at all.
No matter what happens, I will have my friends; I will have my activities; I will have people who care; I will always know who I am.
But then I realized something new again – I really am symbolically pregnant – in gestational mode, preparing to birth the new me each day. And in this process, I lose nothing. I only get more of what brings me joy.