All or Nothing Thinking – Comedy Monologues

I started meditating in the mornings because studies show that it helps clear the mind and improves focus. Well, I didn’t want to do just any old meditation. I wanted results fast. So I started a meditation that encouraged me to get into full pretzel lotus position as soon as possible. I thought if I could just get someone to sprinkle a little salt on top, someone might eat me and put me out of my misery.

This should have been effective because, instead of letting my mind race, I stretched myself beyond my limits. I gave myself something to think about, since it hurt like Hell!

The pain got so bad that I had to make an appointment with my psychiatrist. “Everything was going pretty well up to this point,” I pointed out.

“Meditation is supposed to be peaceful, a stress reliever, not torture,” she replied.

“No pain, no gain,” I said, miserably.

“That doesn’t apply to self-care,” she said. “We don’t call it self-abuse, for a reason.”

“Look,” I said, “I know it seems like I’ve been going for all-or-nothing here. I was just trying to get my brain focused by stressing it out, along with my body, so that when I’m done, every cell in me would think that regular life is a piece of cake.”

She looked at me like I had my eyeballs in my ears. “I’ll tell you what,” she countered, “If you’ll stop trying so hard to change yourself quickly, which has practically made you kill yourself with meditation, I won’t have try to warn you against extremes. Deal?”

“Deal,” I answered.

I walked out with plans to train for my first pentathlon, as soon as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

How I Treat My Body

How I treat my Body is how I treat the world;

Forgiving of my belly folds, which are the proof of carrying, nurturing, and developing my babies;

Understanding of my upper arms and wrinkled elbows, too much skin from my ancestral DNA; my mother is in my arms;

Empathy for a back that does not flex without feeling pain, representing all the times I have bent my learning in a painful direction, but am still able to stand aligned;

For a right leg that is shorter than the left, which is just asking for time and patience to stretch enough to catch up;

For downward-turned shadows on the face, that because of gravity, cause me to consciously focus on building my smile muscles;

And the right and left arms that for 15 years have gradually and steadily borne the discomfort that comes with the unnatural position required to play the violin;

For the brain that has recovered so many times through pharmaceutical intrusion and accidental neural-pathway forming of dead-end roads;

And the heart that with the center of my chest has held the tension of the realization that back-tracking those roads is a journey fraught with dangerous turns that appear out of nowhere;

For the hands that have typed or written my journey into a record so that I may find my way out;

And the hair that has acclimated to many dye jobs so that there is one thing that allows me to not just accept what is;

For the Body that needs loving kindness, the Body that is all members, and for those cells that are believed  to somehow exist outside;

The way I treat my body is the way I treat the world

Never Again

I poured out my heart

to the wall

and laughed with false jovial glee

at my own nervousness,

disclaiming my pain

in my aim to please;

The magnifying glass

test tubes and beakers

all bubbled and broke with questions

as my pain was dissected,

(with smoked salmon on the side)

A beige blandness

shining as bright as the white of your eyes

covered me with your ashes;

never again

The City of Ransomed Souls

When pleasing Wrathful God

ye bear with patience

all cleansing of thine holy place

yea, holy of holies,

ye are called

 

Ye shall be

like a camel

unburdening thyself

of thy smallness,

accommodating

thy passage

through the eye of the needle

into the welcoming

Holy Gate’s

City Arms

 

Their alabaster sheen

unveiling

a face too bright yet to see

without blinking

 

Yes,

Ye shall accomodate

as if by a thread

though the opening into your self

is an ego-based blessing

 

Ye shall be qualified to enter

into

the city of ransomed souls

 

I Die and Resurrect Again

If you stand for love

after you’ve spoken your truth

you fix your lenses so that you can forgive

 

Your staying and working through the tension

until you are given a definitive change of direction

is a part of taking your practice

off the mat

 

It also processes the ego

 

Learning the lessons and applying them

is what allows us

to discharge the encrustation from our lives

 

Willing wellness to others

regardless

is the Divine Way

 

I hang on the cross with Christ each day.

Each day

I die and resurrect again

Life Brings Punishment Enough for the Infallible

My prayers are for the peace of the world, for Love to fully blossom and grow. It is unnecessary to demonize another group. No zero game is needed.

I always knew I was a Stephen, a speaker of the truth Love gives me. I am willing to be the scapegoat, but not a seeker of martyrdom; I’m not seeking it, but open to what God gives me to do.

Long ago, God allowed me to be more comfortable with black people than many of their white counterparts. I’ve always gone for the underdog — the One who was cast out, the one they said could never be accepted. I root for the rejected, the downtrodden, the seemingly hopeless. I am a prayer warrior for those deemed to be the unchosen, knowing that God made all people to be more than Hell’s play things.

It seems my lot in life is to be rejected by the orthodox, to see the meaning behind the words, and to know the Love that only seeks to create a kinder world, not a retributive one purely for the sake of punishing the infallible.

Where Wisdom, Heart, and Healing Meet

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